Saturday, March 5, 2011

Art Of Appreciation

One of the greatest human desires is to feel important. We just want to feel special. An individual has an incessant and gnawing craving for importance. There is no exception to this psychological need. Barring our biological needs, practically all our actions are directed at satisfying this continuing need to feel important. According to William James, the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. We are aware of this desire in our self and continuously perform most of our actions to satisfy this need, but how many times are we aware of the same longing and desire in the other soul?

When this basic human thirst is not satisfied in the normal course, people tend to achieve this feeling of importance in varied ways. A small child would cry, shout and through tantrums, just for attention and appreciation. A teenager would wear expensive clothes or jewelry to be a notch higher than his friends. As we grow, we flaunt of our education degrees, social status, fancy designations and pay packages, just to satisfy that unending desire of being felt important by others. We drive the best and latest vehicle in an attempt to say through things: I AM IMPORTANT! Don’t ignore my presence.

People risk their lives and climb mountains, journey to the moon and expose themselves to risk because they are primarily, basically and even subconsciously, motivated by this urge to feel important, to become great and to earn appreciation. In misdirected cases, this same urge turns a few into notorious outlaws and criminals. When people fail to gain recognition, they go “insane” so that in the new world of their imagination and own making, they can obtain the importance which they have been craving for. An elderly parent often falls sick to get attention of his own busy children. However, all of these things are just covers for, most of the time, a wounded soul. From children to grown up adults, people often unknowingly hurt themselves, when this important hunger of human psyche is not satisfied.
The point which I am making here is let us be an extravagant and lavish in this, appreciating liberally and as often as possible, it shall do more good to us first and then to the others. The individual who can honestly satisfy this burning hunger for importance on the part of his fellow human beings can literally rule the world. He can motivate and influence any person, big or small, high or low, educated or uneducated, rich or poor, man or woman, provided he is capable of making the other person feel truly important. By discovering the special and particular gifts of an individual, by giving due recognition and sincere appreciation to that singular gift or talent, we can win him or her over and enhance their productivity.

This admiration and appreciation has to be sincere. If not, it will be mere flattery and a sensible person always tries to avoid a flatterer. Nobody wants counterfeits. Our appreciation has to be real and honest to evoke the desired response from the other individual and quench his thirst for importance. When we honestly admire and appreciate, be liberal and lavish. One of the most successful motivators and leaders of men, Charles Shwab, who was paid million dollars a year about four decades ago, observes that the way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement. To quote him, “If I like anything I am hearty in my appreciation and lavish in my praise”.

Criticism is just the opposite of giving importance, or appreciating other individual. And how many times do we get long lasting successful results from criticism? Rather the other person gets defensive and we end up in arguments and spoiling a healthy relationship. Let us not get judgmental with others, even God judges a person for his actions and deeds, only after his death. Then why do we get judgmental with others for their day to day actions. Nobody commits a mistake deliberately, we are all humans at the end of the day, let us be accommodating towards others for their mistakes, giving them a room for improvement and better performance next time.

Even appreciate the mistake of others, after all they have tried, give them an opportunity to learn from the mistake and be a better human being and learned performer for the future.

23 comments:

  1. Yes, we need to appreciate than flatter the person!! But few ppl jus' feel jealous of doing dat.. Many reasons behind dat..

    Good post sonia.. :) intresting!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Madhumati, yes the appreciation has to be sincere and genuine. For our own growth we have to overcome that jealousy and be generous in our appreciation.

    thanks, Sonia

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my goodness, look at the pic with the baby & paint. I was following already. Thank you for stopping by and following :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. yes sure, it is real attention wanted activity by the kid.

    ReplyDelete
  5. wow...what happen with that kid on pic....nice post....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Pakaw, kid has messed with the paint box, craving for importance.....:)

    Thanks....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nirmal Kumari Sharma and S.k. Sharma like this @ Facebook.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Bhawna Singh @ Facebook

    hello mam..its correct that 1 shudnt be judgemental 4 day 2dy thing bt there r ppl rather i shud say more no. of ppl around us who deliberately act in certain way to pull down othrs n smtime ur near1 also does same things that too on continous basis so i guess being a well wisher n good human we need to correct these ppl n smtime if require there is no harm to be critical also...this is all came into my mind..thankyou...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sonia Kathuria @ Facebook

    i agree Bhawna there would be people around us, who would try to pull us down, but if we are up in our own eyes, does their pulling down matters? one should always have high self esteem in his/ her own eyes so that the degrading comments of the other person does not affect us.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Very true. Everyone craves for appreciation, but appreciation must be sincere. Criticism must be viewed as an opportunity to assess and correct oneself.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hello Sonia
    Thanks for following my blog, Im your newest follower. I love how in depth your posting are :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Miso, thanks, and u r welcome here.

    ReplyDelete
  13. hi i am your newest follower

    http://homemakerinprogress1.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  14. Great One.
    I hope people around who don't let anyone explore and do appreciable things also follow this.

    Yes, I second your thought. Very true. I crave for appreciation through my deeds.

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks Sonia for visiting, i'm following you as well

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks Shashank, yes practical side of application of these facts is more important, as mostly all of us are aware of this.
    That's very basic of human nature, we all crave for appreciation.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thanks for following me. I'm now following you back. You write very thoughtful pieces.

    ReplyDelete
  18. thanks Callista, u r welcome

    ReplyDelete
  19. New follower from MBC

    You can find me here~

    http://debshere.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  20. Kailash Chander Verma @ Linkein
    Project Engineer at Hindustan Petroleum
    India

    "Hello Madam,

    I read your blog "Art of appreciation" and found it very good.

    Thanks and Regards

    ReplyDelete