Saturday, November 27, 2010

Hurt And Forgiveness

We live under an illusion that hurt is caused by another person, so he should get punished, or I have to take revenge from him. In the process we withdraw from him, stop interaction, thinking that we are giving pain to that person. He should feel bad; we can make him feel bad. Even if we forgive we show as if we have done some great favor to the other person.

Whereas the whole situation is wrongly interpreted; the reality is I have chosen to hurt myself, my mental agony is my own creation. If somebody needs to be forgiven, its me, I have to forgive myself I have to be sorry with myself, and forgive for creating hurt inside.

We might not be able to forget an incident, but it should no longer cause pain, forgiveness means to remember the incident but forget the pain associated with it. At times we choose to live with pain. We are holding on to that pain, check- pain is not holding on to you. When we accept the responsibility that whatever is happening is because of me and only me, any situation or person cannot impact me anymore. This is when we are totally liberated.

Life is under control, it is no longer in control of other people, past or situations. Whole life we try to control other people and situations and feel that our life is not in our own hands. But who has given the control outside? Our getting upset inside shows that we are trying to control things outside, other person’s behavior, other situations. But do not want to control our self and take the responsibility of our own behavior.

We cannot control anyone, neither anyone can control me. At times we do say that I have no choice, I have to do this…and feel like a victim and create hurt. Whereas the fact remains we always have a choice. The other person is just playing their role. The situation is just playing its drama. It is our choice to create fear, hurt or responsibility. Instead of feeling like a victim and saying ‘I have to’; the statement is actually I choose to…….do this.

We have to watch things carefully, how much weight and how much waste. Hurt is just extra weight and only waste we are carrying unnecessarily with us all the time. Today we know the importance of staying fit, the diseases caused by obesity, but we are unaware of extra weight on the soul, leading to the diseases of soul. We avoid eating junk food, it adds to the weight and is a waste for the body. But we keep feeding our soul with the junk of others. We enjoy gossiping and discussing others weaknesses. This adds to our weaknesses.

On the other hand if we discuss the strong points of others, their strengths, we become strong in the process. Fried food is very tasty and tempting it attracts a lot, similarly gossip attracts, it is inviting, gives pleasure, but it is harmful to the soul. Criticizing someone else creates negative energy, its waste and junk, creates weight on the soul.

Whatever hurt we are carrying with us is extra weight of the past, weaknesses of others, waste news etc… If body has extra weight cannot run or climb heights. Similarly extra weight on soul cannot rise or transform for better. If body does not release the waste in time and keep on carrying it, the whole body can become toxic and leads to sickness of various kinds. So release the waste from the soul before it gets toxic for it. Release all the past hurt, forgive the people and situations for your own benefits.
Keep soul light, it can adjust anywhere in any circumstances. Don’t overload it with any junk, be careful every day, every minute.With a lighter soul, we have improved flexibility for new challenges, transformation is much easier. When otherwise faced by a challenge it looks like a big rock, we take a hammer and start breaking it, no result. On the other hand with a lighter soul, we can rise above the rock/ challenge and jump across the hurdle, rather than fighting head on with the situation and trying to change it.


  1. By forgetting the past and by throwing myself into other interests, I forget to worry.

  2. ThANKS so much for dropping and sharing ur thoughts on my blog :).. u too have wonderful one and really nice ones that happens in day to day between amongselves.... really good
    :).. will surely be reading thru :)

    Neetz ;)

  3. u're right,,
    just keep our soul light,,


    visit me again, please,, he,,


  4. True, it is our response to situations that matters.

  5. Yes Onkar, but one has to really develop tactfully how to respond appropriately in any situation, rather than immediately reacting.

  6. Hi Zanck, light soul, light weight no waste, and travel high enough and long enough.

  7. Hi Neetz, thanks for dropping by and reading through. You are welcome.

  8. ya, try to follow Me, please,,
    he,, :)

  9. This is a great post, and VERY true.

  10. Hi Sonia Great Post! I had a friend that took me a while to forgive... I wish I would have read this 2years ago. Can you follow me too.

  11. Hi nataly, thanks and it is never too late.
    Following u as well.

  12. Tanjila Taher Shampa, Nirmal Kumari Sharma and Shobha Malhotra like this @ Facebook

  13. I really like your blog, very inspirational!
    Am from MBC, my blog is

  14. Thanks Beauty and the Green, u r welcome.

  15. Hi.. really a very nice post. But i want to contradict your first para. sometime withdrawing from a person who has hurt you, actually makes us feel better,drop ourself in a healthy stress.Its prevent us to loose ourself, our identity.

  16. Thanks Ranjita, i think withdrawal is OK, till it makes one feel good, but if it hurts us also in the process it is not worth it.

  17. Sekar .G Sekar @ Linkedin
    Tinderbox Productions
    Chennai, India
    Producer at Tinderbox Productions

    "" gud one...thks""

  18. very true...we seek redemption but in the process keep piling on the hurt.

    i agree with every word you have said.but i still dont know if im strong enough to forget--and if one cant forget, its really tough to forgive.
    im trying though..i am! :)

    Love in the times of samsung galaxy tab
    check this out and do vote for it (promote it on indiblogger) if you like it...


  19. yes pri thanks, there is lot of difference in forgiving and forgetting, because if u try to forget it is impossible, incident is there in the memory, but forgiving is for our own benefit, as it takes off our baggage. it is easier to get new wonders in life as u become more welcoming towards opportunities after forgiving.