Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Look Fear in The Face

The most dominant emotion in our society is fear. We are afraid of losing the things we have worked so hard to buy, afraid of rejection and failure, afraid of certain parts of town, afraid of certain types of people, afraid of criticism, suffering, heartache, change, telling people how we truly feel, and we are afraid of ourselves. Some fears we are conscious of, some are subconscious. Fear can paralyze the human spirit and stop any of us from living life.

For looking fear in the face, one requires courage, by courage I mean the ability to face those imaginary fears and reclaim the far more powerful life that you've denied yourself. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of going broke. Fear of being alone. Fear of humiliation. Fear of public speaking. Fear of being ostracized by family and friends. Fear of physical discomfort. Fear of regret. Fear of success.

How many of these fears are holding you back? How would you live if you had no fear at all? You'd still have your intelligence and common sense to safely navigate around any real dangers, but without feeling the emotion of fear, would you be more willing to take risks, especially when the worst case wouldn't actually hurt you at all? Would you speak up more often, talk to more strangers, ask for more sales, and dive headlong into those ambitious projects you've been dreaming about? What if you even learned to enjoy the things you currently fear? What kind of difference would that make in your life?

Have you previously convinced yourself that you aren't really afraid of anything... that there are always good and logical reasons why you don't do certain things? It would be rude to introduce yourself to a stranger. You shouldn't attempt public speaking because you don't have anything to say. Asking for a raise would be improper because you're supposed to wait until the next formal review. They're just rationalizations though - think about how your life would change if you could confidently and courageously do these things with no fear at all.

Look fear directly in the face, means you might be scared, afraid but still go ahead and face it, do it, rather attempt more on the things you are afraid to do. Life does not give us a second chance, let us not hold back our self, take that first step and face the fear, you shall come out much stronger and courageous and in the process enjoying life more.

The most important point I want to make here is that real courage is a mental skill, not an emotional one. Neurologically it means using the thinking neocortex part of your brain to override the emotional impulses. In other words, you use your human intelligence, logic, and independent will to overcome the limitations you've inherited as an emotional mammal.

Fear is not your enemy. It is a compass pointing you to the areas where you need to grow. There is some weakness of your own, which is holding you back. So when you encounter a new fear within yourself, celebrate it as an opportunity for growth, just as you would celebrate reaching a new personal best with strength training.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but the acquired ability to move beyond fear. Each day we must pass through the jungle of doubt and cross the valley of fear. It's only then that we can live on the high peaks of courage.

Take a moment to wander through history (family, national, and human) think about the men & women you most admire. Who would they be without courage? Courage is the father of every great moment and movement in history.

Courage is essential to the human experience. No one is born with courage. It's an acquired virtue. Like most qualities of character, when practiced we become stronger. Everything in life requires courage. From asking someone out on a date, to starting your own business, to struggling to overcome addiction, Life takes courage.

So much can be accomplished in one moment of courage. The measure of your life will be the measure of your courage. Courage is what brings us to life, and makes everything possible. Yet, courage is the rarest quality in a person. By getting to the root cause of our fears and doubts we can examine them in the light and re-frame them for the future. This will enable us to function in a more satisfying and rewarding manner. We become what we are through our decisions, all of which require courage.

Lack of courage is often express in the decision not to make a decision. Conquer your fears and live fully. Stop and look fear in the face, it will cease to bother you. Stay with the fear and be a victim, face the fear and be a conqueror/ winner, choice is yours.


  1. Wednesday, May 19, 2010 8:55 PM

    Navneet Arora commented on your post:

    "Very nice Sonia! skimmed through a couple of your older blogs as well, will surely spend more time reading them in detail - well written and very insightful - thanks for sharing. Look forward to more!"

  2. Ameet Mondkar

    " Hi Sonia:

    Would it be prudent to assume that all issues faced today in society, stem from the fact that we hold 'expectations' dear? Our control on expectations would help lighten the load of rejections, heartache, criticism, change etc. Wouldn't it?
    Wednesday, May 19, 2010

  3. Ameet Mondkar

    " Btw Sonia, enjoyed your blog immensly. Cheers, Ameet"

    Wednesday, May 19, 2010 @ LinkedIn

  4. " i agree 90% of fears we are concious of never occur but i think this(courageousness) is a born quality and our surrounding has major impact on it. only a little part can be acquired by training. "

    lalit kumar

    Saturday, 22nd May' 2010 @ LinkedIn

  5. " Lalit, mind is a great resource and power,and one has to learn to train it and take full control on it otherwise it really makes us dance on its own tunes, its not the little part it is the major part which can be acquired by self control & self discipline. "

  6. " slightly spiritual but good thinking. i liked it."

    lalit kumar
    Saturday, 22nd May' 2010 @ LinkedIn

  7. Fear is just the state of mind... You can control your mind then you can not feel fear. It is just like that

    By the way, here is my IndiVine post. Check it and if you like it then please Promote it too there on IndiVine.


    Thanks :)

  8. yes it is more or less a self control.